There are just over 30 days left in 2019 (33 to be exact). With the year quickly coming to a close, I want to offer these gentle reminders for 2020:

You don’t have to do everything at once.
You don’t have to make all the changes today.
You don’t have to revolutionize your life overnight.

In fact, it’s better if you don’t.

 

Step 1: go easy on yourself!

 

When it comes to both mindfulness and intentional productivity, I see so many people get “‘stuck” (or, more accurately, feel stuck) because they try to do everything at once. I think it’s because we see so much of other people’s highlights and successes, but we rarely see the long, messy, painstaking journey it took to get there.

 

credit: imgur.com/L5w8Rkg

 

Resist the temptation to believe everyone around you is an overnight success. It’s just not the case. Not even close! And resist the idea that you will achieve the same amount of success as someone with 20 years of experience or a team of people behind them making them appear flawless if you “just work harder.”

We put so much pressure on ourselves to match an illusion (think of comparing yourself against a photoshopped model in a magazine). We need to discard this self-imposed pressure (and I say “self-imposed” because while the image or illusion is there, no one is forcing you to compare yourself against that successful person or “flawless” photo). So first, practice seeing the illusion for what it is: training, practice, experience, support. Or photoshop.

 

Step 2: focus on your journey

 

Give yourself credit (and grace), and hone in on your priorities and ideals. One of the tactics I teach to help you do this—and that I walk you through in my book, Self Care at Work—is the idea of habit stacking or anchoring.

Contrary to popular belief, productivity and personal growth or success aren’t about how much you can do. They’re about whether or not you’re doing the right things—the things that matter to you.

It’s important to focus on the qualitative instead of the quantitative and to measure how your tools and practices really impact your life. (For example, focus on how much healthier your lifestyle has become VS how many pounds you’ve lost. Appreciate how your mindfulness practice makes you more patient and understanding every day VS despairing over the fact that you don’t meditate as often as Deepak Chopra. Take pride in sharing meaningful content that resonates with your core audience VS counting your followers against someone with a dedicated social media team.)

I understand this can be incredibly hard when we live in a culture that defines success by external appearance, achievements, “likes,” and so on. I’ve started practicing letting go of the comparison and self-imposed pressure by lessening my social media use (more on that here). And again, try to step back and see what you’re comparing yourself against for what it is (i.e., a team of people, years of training/failures, makeup and photoshop, etc.).

Now, on to the practice.

 

The practice: habit stacking and anchoring

 

If you want to be more mindful or productive (I’m using these as an example but you can use this tactic for whatever your goal), you don’t have to make this goal or focus another obligation. You really don’t need the pressure, it doesn’t serve you. All you might want to do is start small with what you know matters to you. 

For example, if you experience high levels of stress at work (or otherwise), you may want to start with something that will help you reduce stress so you can maintain balance and prevent fatigue. Some suggestions to try:

• Keep a one-sentence gratitude journal that you write in each day

• Use a planner to keep track of meetings and ensure that you set and stick to boundaries so you don’t double-book or hyper-schedule yourself

• Have a 30- or 60-minute “closed door” policy for you to minimize distractions and get your work done instead of taking it home with you

•Wake up 20 to 30 minutes earlier each workday to spend time meditating, reading, drawing, or learning about something outside of work.

Any of these things will make you both mindful and productive. But whatever the activity you choose, choose one. Practice it regularly—every day for one week, then two weeks, then a month. And anchor it to another habit so you remember to do it.

Make your 60-minute “closed door policy” at the same time each day, maybe right after you return from your lunch break. Do your morning meditation before breakfast if you eat breakfast each day. Try to hook the habit you want to cultivate onto something that’s already embedded in your routine. This will make your life a lot easier!

Again, this is a quick look at habit stacking. You’ll find a more in-depth approach in the Self Care at Work book (or in working with me directly).

To recap:

• Habit stacking — choose one activity and practice it regularly for at least 3-4 weeks before moving on to the next one.

• Anchoring — “hook” the activity you want to integrate into your life onto something that’s already embedded into your routine.

Once more for the folks in the back: don’t try to do everything at once. Do one thing very well. Then, in time, perhaps another.

I’ve really simplified things for myself lately, and (this may sound ridiculous…) I try to build my life like an Italian builds a pizza. I’m talking about the old school, traditional, Naples-born-and-raised Italian approach (you can laugh, it’s fine). What I mean is this: have a few quality ingredients—habits in your routine, good friends in your inner circle, tools or practices to help you work productively or live more mindfully—and make those really good. Make them work for you so that you enjoy them, appreciate them, savour them.

Start small and keep things simple. This is the key to creating meaningful, lasting habits that will transform your life. And your pizza.

Your turn: What habit do you want to integrate into your day or life? Comment below and let’s talk about what that could look like!